9 Month Update! :) :) :) :)

Alright, this feels good getting back into the blogging world!

This last month has gone much smoother than the last couple... I'm finally starting to feel better (physically) and not vomiting/diarrhea-ing everything I eat. I really start to buckle down and make sure I was getting in all my vitamins.. no matter what. And that has helped a tremendous amount!

I've also had some pretty awesome NSVs this month... putting on my first size 18 and actually FITTING in them, actually being apart of family photos instead of just the person taking them, shopping at more and more "normal" stores, and the list goes on.

So here we go...

That's a total of 97 pounds in 9 months, folks!

AND... if you want a little secret into my 10 month post... I've hit over 100 now as of this morning (about a week after the above photo) and it feels oh so wonderful/good/great/and any other word that would fit here :) And then the before and durings... I don't think I have to even ask if you can see a difference or not :) 

Yeah... pretty amazing. I don't even recognize the person to the left.

2012 is right around the corner and I can't wait to see what is around the corner... Much Love, Friends!

Neglectful...

Wow, I can't believe I've been so neglectful to this blog. I promised myself I would never be that person... the one who is so "in touch" with the support group prior to surgery and then slowly phase out my involvement. And yet it has happened. I completely left out month 8 updates... barely did month 7... and now I'm almost to my 9 month mark. I promise to give you something for that month. And I promise  to update more.

One big thing that has happened lately is that I finally made an appointment to do family photos. I won't even hang up my wedding photos because I was so embarrassed of how big I got. Let's just show a photo so we all know what I'm talking about...

I will redo my wedding photos one day. Another big promise I have made to myself when I started this journey.

Now? It's not perfect, I still have a lot more to loose... but I couldn't be happier with where I am in our "first" family photos that will grace our Christmas cards, my office desk, and the walls of our home :)

Back to Christmas activities on this cold December morning...

Month 7 update!

Don't be fooled... The exclamation mark would leave some of you to think that it's been a good month when in reality I'm just now hopefully ending the stall. So the scale didn't move this month and I'm still a couple of pounds shy of hitting the big 100 pounds lost.

So in honor of my 7 month coming short of my 100 pound goal I decided to come up with a list of 7 things that I'm thankful I can do now that I couldn't do 91-93ish (stupid stall) pounds ago.
1. Cross my legs and sit comfortably
2. Fit in a booth at a restaurant
3. Tie my shoes (and not have bows that are off to the side)
4. Be IN pictures and not just taking them
5. Not have to wear the same pair of jeans multiple times in a row before they get comfortable
6. Get dressed up for Halloween with my friends
7. Wear heels with little discomfort (still working on the walking in them part....)

Alright, here you go. Scale:

That's a 90.2 pound weight loss in 7 months!

Not where I wanted to be... but I'll kick this stall... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

So.... I still have not taken by before and during photos for this month... and then when I was about to tonight I realized that I will be taking my 8 month photos next week... so... I'm not going to. I know, I know... I promised monthly. I just have been so busy! But just think of how GREAT my 8 month photos will be... right? RIGHT?! :)

6 Month Update.... Boo!

I'm so sad that this update isn't happier. The hardest and yet most exciting 6 months of my life has gone by and yet I'm dreading this post. I've hit a huge stall and the scale has became my dreaded enemy. I hate my pictures this month, I hate my scale this month, I hate everything. But... I've put it off as long as possible. Here is goes:

Yeah... not good. A 6 month weight loss of 86.8 pounds. 

Sigh... so here we go... the before and durings:

Next month will be better? Right? :(

Skinny Jeans and other NSVs...

So for my non-WLS'ers NSV is "non-scale victories"... other ways we get to measure the success of our decision to have surgery.... one of mine? Buying skinny jeans!

I can't remember the last time I've been able to go into a normal store and get jeans. Most of my clothing and jeans had to be bought at "the fat girl store" (AKA. Lane Bryant). I dreamed of the day I could go into an Old Navy, pick out a pain of in style and cute jeans, put them on, and walk out.

My day has arrived!!!!!

I'm definitely not the size  I want to end up at... and it was hard to find the largest size they had there. But they did. I almost tried them on as a joke. And you know what? They didn't look that bad! And better yet? They fit! I don't know if I'm ready to wear them out to places where people I know will be out... but I wore them last night for the first time. And it felt really really good :) NSV #1

Another NSV was a really awesome trip to Brown County, a good local spot here in Indiana known for it's outdoors-ness, hiking, horse back riding, etc. Not a place I would choose in the middle of summer to spend my day. But we did and I felt awesome. I actually got on the horse... didn't stand by to just take pictures. I'm loving what my new body allows me to do. NSV #2


In not-so-good news... I'm not looking forward to this upcoming weigh in and picture taking. I have finally hit a stall, my friends, and I'm stuck. I have been tremendously lucky to not hit a stall up to this point (and if I thought I have it was a couple of days stall) but this has been going on for almost 3 weeks now. My body has been through a lot so I'm hoping that it's just coping and healing. We will see.

Until then...

Month 5 Update!

I can't believe another month has past... and what a month it has been. It was literally a roller coaster ride this month of feeling great and absolutely horrible.

Basically, everything went to hell about 1/2 way through this month. There was no warning whatsoever but I ended up going into the hospital twice and then had to have emergency surgery. Oh yes, you read that right. It was just as big of a shock to me. Let me explain:

So remember all the tests they ran on me prior to surgery? (Think:pre-op requirements) They check everything: heart, lungs, blood, urine, gall bladder, etc. Everything obviously came back fine since I was cleared for surgery. I specifically remember my surgeon telling me how she was surprised that my gall bladder looked so healthy for being as heavy as I was... Well, it didn't like the changes I have made to say the least because it caused me hell this month. I came home from the pool after relaxing and swimming all day to start feeling really ill. I ended up in so much pain my husband took me to our local ER who stated after a CT scan that my gall bladder looked "a little inflamed" and they suggested calling my RNY surgeon. So, I did. They scheduled a scan for Friday that week. In the meantime I was suppose to keep a bland diet and go back to the ER if they pain increased.

By Tuesday night I was vomiting because the pain was so severe. I made my husband take me back to the same local ER who ran blood tests. Turns out I was in a fatal levels of liver enzymes and needed emergency surgery to see what was blocking my liver. They transferred me to the hospital I had my RNY at (it's a much bigger and more equipped hospital) and I was on a morphine pump all night while they ran a battery of tests to determine the problem. After a night of tests I was scheduled for surgery the following morning. The diagnoses? A gall stone was blocking the duct to my liver (causing the high enzyme levels) and my gall bladder was grotesquely diseased and infected. My surgeon told my family that she has never seen such an infected gall bladder. She was shocked at how quickly it went bad too. Her only explanation was that my gall bladder "didn't get with the program" when I changed my diet and continued to act as if I was eating all the fat/oils that I use to. It basically overworked itself to death. So after a few more days in the hospital to give my body proper antibiotics and heal I headed back home.

Recovery after this surgery was almost worse than the RNY recovery. *TMI WARNING* Not having a gall bladder is poopy- literally and figuratively. I haven't had a normal bowel movement since surgery. I am having to relearn foods again because now without a gall bladder I'm even more sensitive to oils in foods- natural or not. Luckily I am still very strict about my diet so it hasn't been too big of an adjustment.

One great thing about being so sick is the lack of appetite which means a help in the weight loss department! So without further ado.... my month 5 pictures!!

Oh yeah! That's a total of 82.4 pounds since March 17, 2011!!!!

And now the comparisons.... It's silly to say since it's only been 5 months but I don't even remember that girl in the left anymore :) And that's a good feeling!

Can you tell a difference? I'm happy to say that I can. 

Goals for this month? 

1) Work out more... I was doing so well and then with surgery, recovery, and now waiting for my surgeon appointment so she can clear me I have slacked.

2) Blog more! I love being apart of the WLS community and hope I can keep everyone in the loop more often! 

Love you all :)

Happy Birthday to Less of ME!!!!!

 Happy Birthday... to Less of Me!!

I found it horrifically sad that I couldn't find a picture of me last year to put up a comparison... but I guess that was normal in my old self. I wouldn't dare let myself be in front of the camera- and if I did- I was ultra depressed with the results. Now, I love to look at pictures and think... "wow, is my face really shrinking?!" or "wow, I'm glad I have pictures of me and _____". It's a nice change.

DO NOT WORRY FELLOW WLSers.... the cake was for the pose. I am definitely not eating/attempting/wishing/hoping/tempting any cake. At this point it is hard to keep some fruits down because of the natural sugars and I definitely don't want to upset my pouch over processed sugar crap. 

It's hard to imagine what next years pictures will look like... but I am ready and excited to see them. The more weight I lose the more motivated I am to make changes to my life as a whole. This week? It was bringing less processed, more lean lunches to work. And I felt so much better. Lean chicken, lean fish, fresh veggies and fruit... yum! It makes the thought of eating the bad crap not a thought at all. 

Now if only I could break this stall!! I've been in the 260s FOREVER it feels. Cross your fingers for me that this week we see some pounds shed or I may go crazy. I have been pretty lucky to not have stalls last too long. On OH I read about people who stall for weeks at a time- thank god I'm not there yet. A 5-6 day stall is enough to drive me crazy! 

Until next time friends :).........

Month 4 Updates!

Here we go... a quarter done of my new life! What a journey it continues to be. We just got back from an amazing vacation so it is a nice way to wrap up the summer. Some things that made vacation awesome compared to last year?
1) I sat indian style... on the beach... without it being uncomfortable!
2) I felt way better in my swimsuit than last year
3) The summer is hot (Indiana is in the middle of a heat wave as we speak) and I wasn't 1/2 as uncomfortable as I was last year
4) Swimsuit buying wasn't so bad (see my previous post about that)
5) I was actually in family photos this year!


As the months crawl by I get more and more happy about the decision I made in March to have this surgery. I had my 4 month check up with my doctor and she was happy with my progress. She did switch me to a new antacid medication that she hopes will help my nausea as I am still taking anti-nausea medication daily. We will see. I also switched to B-12 injections instead of the sublingual. I don't know why but those seem to work better for me. 


Without further ado... Weight loss for Month 4?

261 pounds even! That's a total of 70 pounds lost since March 17, 2011!!!

And now the me today versus the old me:

I feel definitely feel like I look more "put together" this month. I think I need to go down a size in my jeans though... I'll try for month 5 and hopefully the effect will be more noticeable! 

Swimsuit... No worries!!

So today was the day... the dreaded day that I needed to buy the swimsuit for our vacation coming up next week. And you know what? It really wasn't so bad!

I really wish I had a picture of me prior to surgery in a swimsuit... Ha, I don't think I was 400 feet around a camera at that time. I am definitely not saying I'm at a place in my mind/body where I will be taking beach pictures this year... but I feel sooooo much better in this bathing suit then I do in the big one from last year.

So, what was the deal maker? I found a great deal on a tankini at Lane Bryant. The top is fit just like a bra so it holds the girls in place (the girls who don't seem to be getting ANY smaller at this point...) and the bottom is just a bikini bottom. I have to take the top in to get altered so the straps are shortened a bit so I'm hoping I feel even better after that's done. And the bottoms? A size 18. They are a little tight, not going to lie, so I'm debating going up a size. My husband says they look fine (isn't he suppose to say that?!) but I'm not 100% convinced yet. :)

I'm looking forward to the idea of not being overly hot and uncomfortable down in Florida. Last year I was miserable- I never wanted to get dressed. I feel like I've lost enough weight that getting dressed won't be such a chore and I won't have to wear a potato sack to make myself feel good about what I look like in my clothes. Those, my friends, are happy thoughts that make me going into my 4th month not completely regret the surgery. Every NSV I have reiterates to me how necessary the hell of the first 2 months were. So pre-opers and newbie post-opers... It will get better. Just maybe not as quickly as you pray, hope, beg for it to!

3 months!!

Wow... I can't believe I am 3 months post-op now. It really feels like much longer. I am so much happier with my decision to have WLS now.... little NSV are really exciting to me. Here's a few I would like to share:

1) Swinging on the swings at the park with my daughter :)
2) Fitting into any booth at a restaurant without worry that I won't fit
3) Wearing underwear that doesn't constantly give me a wedgie (when it's not suppose to, that is!)
4) Having people tell me how good I look
5) Knowing that all of this is just the beginning and so much more will come my way!

So month 3 updates:
1) I'm feeling much much better. I've finally gotten into a routine of how to take all my medications. Nighttime works best for me so I take all my vitamins during the day and my prescriptions at night. I'm on an anti-acid pill for my ulcers, nausea medication, and an anti-depressant which was given to me prior to leaving the hospital. I know if I skip a night or two of medication I will get sick. It's inevitable. I hope I don't have to be on these medications forever but for right now I'm fine taking everything as long as it makes me healthy and not vomit-ty.
2) I need to get better at taking my vitamins. They are SO very important. I've done really good this week with making sure I have got in extra protein and all my calcium. Calcium is my hardest vitamin to get in. I'm also going to be switching from an oral B12 to the shots. No, I haven't done labs yet (yes, that worries me too that my doctor hasn't ordered any and I'm going to force her too next month) but I think it is easier for me personally.
3) Exercise makes me feel good! I just wish I found time to do it more often. With summer activities, vacations, etc. things are getting harder to get a schedule to exercise. I keep telling myself that I've exercised more these last few weeks than probably I did total last year. I can improve and I will!
4) Learning what foods are good with my pouch and what foods aren't has been an adventure to say the least. Watermelon, as wonderful as it sounds, makes me dump. Cantaloupe and me are best friends. I don't do well with eggs but cottage cheese and I get along swell. I have developed a lot of anxiety about eating new foods. I'm so scared to make my pouch mad!
5) My eyes are WAY hungrier than my pouch. I measure out 3-4 ounces, think it is way not enough, and then add more... to only eat 1/2 of the original amount. I'm barely getting 3 ounces a meal in. Liquids I drink in the gallons a day... food just fills me up so fast. I wish my eyes would get on program! Wasting so much food isn't good!

Month 3 weigh in:

Yes, friends, that is a total weight loss of 61.8 pounds since the morning of surgery!

I'm really excited to share my pictures this month! I can see the difference so I'm hoping you can too!

Here we go Month 4! I'm taking my husband's advice and getting a new swimsuit before our beach vacation in less than a month... hopefully my Month 4 pictures will have a bit of a tan! 

Keep safe friends and remember... "nothing tastes as good as skinny healthy feels"!!

Ugh... Swimsuits.

It's that dreaded time of year... Swimsuit season.

I thought this year would be better but it's just not. I still hate the way I look in swimsuits. I keep telling myself "wait, next year will be better" and "you look better than you would have without the surgery"... but it doesn't help.

I've only had to face the world in a swimsuit twice this season already... both at a water park. This summer we are heading to Florida so I know that number will only rise. My husband suggested going out and buying a new swimsuit (one that actually fits right... the old one is way too loose). I'm hoping this helps.

As far as an update on how life is: life is good. I'm getting sick less often and I have found a good routine for taking all my vitamins and medications. It really took almost the whole 3 months before things "clicked" with my mind and body. I still tend to overestimate how much I can eat and then waste a bunch of food... but at least I'm not trying to finish everything and making myself sick. This Friday will be my 3 months mark... I can't wait to show everyone here my progress!

Exercise!

Today's the day, folks! I started really exercising. I have been walking since surgery but the skin is starting to sag and my weight is not falling off me a quickly as it was the first few weeks. So it was time to stop grumbling and complaining and get my butt to the gym.

The first day wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. That is probably because the last time I worked out I was 50 pounds heavier and couldn't breathe to save my life. I got a sharp horrible cramp in my "barbie crease" (where your leg meets your torso... like where Barbie's legs bend... Don't ask...) and cut my walking/running in half. That's right- running! I've always wanted to be a runner and now I'm finally going to try. Then I did lots of arm exercises and some stretching.

Then instead of coming home, eating something, and hitting the couch, I worked out in the yard. I have honestly spent more time in the yard this year than ever in my life. I mowed the whole yard and helped my husband weed eat. I really want/need to start my garden... maybe Tuesday.

It feels really good to get that "day 1" out of the way!! If you haven't started exercising yet, you should. I know, "Hello I'm pot, meet Kettle"... but really, it gave me so so so much more energy today and over 1/2 the day is still left!

Month 2

No exclamation points for this one, friends. It's been a really hard last couple of weeks. I thought things were getting easier... then everything happened with the ulcers, getting sick, etc. (See 6 week blah) And I haven't fully recovered. Still no energy... I still have a hard time keeping foods down I know I should be able to... I am so sleepy.

Yes. I am a huge Debbie Downer lately.

To make matters worse? I took my stupid two month pictures and can't tell a difference at all. Maybe (and I hope) it is just my mood... we will see. For your viewing pleasure:

See that fake smile? and the hair... it just wasn't my night....

So... boo. I am in smaller jeans in my 2nd picture... same shirt- just more loose. But other than those subtle differences I can't tell. Again, I hope it is just my mood.

Here is a scale picture of my week 8 weigh-in:

Not horrible... I feel like I've been in the 280s forever though... TIME TO MOVE ON! :)

I hope to be more uplifting next post... I've already got the gym in the plans for tomorrow so maybe adding that to my plan (religiously) will help. Until next time... Happy Losing, friends!

6 Week Blah...

A week ago things couldn't have been better... finally had some energy, was able to have a date night with my husband, and got all dressed up and went to dinner. We had such a good time :) He has really put up with a lot so it was nice to take him out and let him know how much I appreciate him. I am really starting to notice the weight loss in my face. Here's a picture of our night:

It feels really good to start being in front of the camera instead of hiding behind it because of how I look.

Anyways, woke up Easter morning and that's when it started. Horrible pain in my lower abdomen and couldn't keep any food down. And this continued... until Wednesday when I wasn't able to keep liquids down either. I finally called my doctor and they scheduled an endoscopy on Friday. 

Friday comes and I'm weaker than I was the day after surgery. No food for a week and minimum liquids really did a toll on me. Waking up after the scope wasn't as bad as I thought. It felt like I closed my eyes and blinked myself back to the recovery room. 

And the results? The opening to my pouch had tightened a lot so they stretched it a bit. I also have 3 small ulcers. They didn't give me a reason as to why I would have ulcers already but prescribed me some medication to help heal them. It doesn't help that I had really bad acid reflux prior to surgery though. 

So, at the 6 week mark things are kind of blah. It's basically been a week off all my vitamins and protein so I am tired, weak, and really having buyers remorse. I woke up this morning feeling some pain in my pouch (I'm assuming its from the stretching) but otherwise a little bit better. I will definitely keep you up to date on this! 

Food Network and Man vs. Food

I'm addicted. I can't stop watching Food channels. Can this be healthy?? I've never watched these shows before- and now... I'm DVRing them. I'm not writing down the recipes or eating myself to death while watching the shows. I just watch... okay, I do sometimes wish I was eating what they are eating (who doesn't?!), but I get over it and flip to the next food channel.

Any insights? Am I just mourning the lost of my bad eating habits and living vicariously through the shows? Or am I looking too much into this and it's just me watching TV? I mean... I watch Teen Mom and I'm not running out looking for a Baby Daddy to complicate my life, am I? No. So it can't be that bad... right?!

Month 1 Updates!!!!

SUPER excited to share my Month 1 Updates with you all!!

Weight:

Oh yes, friends, that is 34.4 pounds in 1 month. I was a little scared at first that my doctor would think that I was losing too much too quickly but she said that it should slow down soon but she was very happy with my progress! And the most important thing??? GOODBYE 300s!!!!!

And here it is... My "During Pictures" for Month 1:

 Perks of these photos: I'm wearing jeans 1 size smaller than the month before and the shirt was MUCH easier to fit in this go around.
Blahs of these photos: Still fat

My 1 month doctor visit was very uneventful. She didn't even look at my scars! I was moved to pureed foods though so I've been enjoying chicken, turkey, and cantaloupe! Yum! It definitely takes my pouch some getting use to new and different foods. So far the only thing that it wasn't happy with was watermelon. I think I will try that again may in month 3.

I was also cleared for all activity. I'm really going to try this week to do some exercising. I think that will help me see the weight loss more.

Overall, month 1 was hard... but it's getting easier every day. I'm looking forward to a day when my pouch is happy all day- hasn't happened yet- but the times when I feel yucky are much more farther out now.

Cravings!

Only 4 more days of my full liquid diet and then I'm allowed to start pureed. I don't think I have ever been so excited to eat pureed food in my life. My head is constantly rambling with all my food choices that are able to appear these next 4 weeks. I love looking at recipes and I can't wait to try some of the new ideas I have found.

With that being said, my biggest obstacle (other than the complete lack of energy) is my cravings. I have two different craving moods I have found to lurk in:

1. Pre-Surgery Cravings: I still find myself wanting things I had pre-surgery. Like pizza... oh pizza. There are days I would kill someone for a bacon cheeseburger. It is really hard some days and other days I don't mind at all. My work had a huge pitch in the other day... filled with lots of sugary sweets and to my surprise it didn't bother me at all. What I wanted the most was to join my co-workers the day before out to a local burger joint. Of course, I didn't. But I definitely gave them the "stink eye" about it and complained the rest of the day. :)

2. Post-Surgery Cravings: I can't wait to eat cucumber slices. I have no idea why. It sounds so unbelievably good to me right now. I'm really excited that I get to start them with my pureed foods. I am also craving cantaloupe, salads, and tomatoes. The last two are still 4+ weeks out but you can bet that on Thursday morning I am eating some cantaloupe!

I see my doctor for the first time since surgery on Tuesday. I'm nervous/excited about this. I am nervous that my doctor's scale doesn't show the progress that mine at home does. I am excited that I will be moving to pureed foods (after a month of liquids). I am nervous that there is a complication I don't know about. I'm excited to have 1 month over and behind me. I am also hoping that my doctor clears me for exercise. I think that will help boost my energy levels!

See you Thursday, Friends!!!

Hi-Ho-Hi-Ho... It's back to work I go!

After 2 1/2 weeks it was time to head back to work. So this Monday I made the journey to the office. My job is a pretty stressful one... not so much on my body or being active but very mentally stressful. I thought that maybe it would help me get my mind of things at home and help with making my new life schedule.

Monday morning at 5:45am.... It hit me. Oh my Gosh: I am so not ready for this. I struggled to get down a protein shake that early and headed into the office. I felt horrible. Even though people in the office don't know the particulars about my surgery I heard more "why don't you take the rest of the day off?" comments than I've ever heard before. But, I stuck it through.

Tuesday morning at 5:45am.... Even worse than the day before. More exhausted. More pain. I came home from running errands after work and went to bed by 7.

Wednesday morning at 5:45am.... Perfect. No pain. No sleepiness (other than normal 5:45am sleepiness). I felt great. And you know what? It lasted all day. I got all my vitamins in, all my protein in, all my walking in, all my food in, and I had energy. I felt somewhat normal and I loved it.

And today? Felt not as amazing as the day before but still good. I really hope I'm getting the hang of this. I'm sure there will still be days I'm exhausted... There will be days I am better than yesterday too though. I am liking that I am able to figure out my routine and what I need to do at the times I need to do it. I don't have it perfected yet but I'm hoping in another week or so I can have it down to a science.

And weight loss? I can't wait to tell you... but you'll have to wait until next week for that. I'm not sure we will see any real difference in my 1 month pictures... but it will be fun to do anyways. Next Tuesday is my doctor's appointment and I'm hoping she is as happy as me when she sees the scale.

I do have two new goals for this next week though:
1) More Protein: I really need to focus on getting more and more of this done. I know I can do it... it's just struggling with getting it all in every day.
2) Adding more exercise: I haven't been released by my doctor but I need to be walking more and trying to be more active and not rely on my family to help do things as much anymore... Even though it has been nice not doing laundry for 3 weeks ;-) Hopefully I get released on Tuesday by the doctor to do more exercises. I really loved doing the Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga and felt like I was able to tone up some with that. We will see!

Post-Surgery... 10 Days.

I don't even know where to begin. This has been the craziest and longest 10 days of my life.

Surgery day:

All was good. Weighed myself the morning of surgery: 331 pounds. Not proud of it but it was reality. 3 pounds less than the week before.
Surgery went great... recovery was painful. I kept wailing for my mom and they drugged me pretty good on Dilaudid. I love me some Dilaudid. I don't remember anything Thursday after surgery. I had really great nurses that night who kept up on my pain medicine. Tip #1: NO MATTER IF YOU FEEL GOOD OR NOT KEEP UP ON YOUR PAIN MEDICINE!!!!! One of my biggest mistakes. I would feel good and not get it and a hour later I was in miserable pain.

Tip #2: Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk! I was up and walking as soon as I got to my room Thursday after surgery (or so they tell me). I wasn't running marathons but it really help with all the gas pains I was feeling.

Friday is almost as blurry as Thursday except I remember some visitors I had and I remember I got my drain out. That felt so good to be out of my body. I also got apple juice. Oh, the small things in life! They did switch me from Dilaudid to liquid Loratab. Not happy. The Loratab wasn't responding to my pain as much as the Dilaudid did. However the doctor told me straight forward that they wouldn't let me go home with the Dilaudid (I guess it's just not something they do) so I sucked it up and got use to the Loratab.

Saturday I was nauseous taking the multivitamins. They wanted to keep me another night but I was determined to get home as soon as I could.


The next days were painful. Painful... sucky... depressing... I hated what I had done to myself. I wanted everything I couldn't have to eat. I had not had a BM so I couldn't start protein and I was in pain. I hated my husband and step-daughter for eating foods I couldn't. I cried. Life sucked.

My husband took me back to the ER Tuesday after more pain which Loratab wasn't touching and the lack of the BM. Tip #3: Don't worry if you haven't gone #2 until you are about a week out. In that department I was fine... the pain department they gave me some more medication and I felt much better. I had lots of fluid draining in my lower abdomen which the doctor said will go away with time.

It wasn't until Thursday after talking to one of my dear WLS buddies when things turned around. My advice was "You had the surgery. There is nothing you can do about it now. It won't be reversed. You need to suck it up and make life great now because you won't remember this pain when you are putting on your skinny pants and they are too big."

And she was right. I needed to snap out of this. I needed to start making myself do things around the house, taking normal times to rest and heal, and moving on with my  new life. Do I miss food? Yes. I'm on liquids for a month... who wouldn't? Do I sometimes still hate my husband for what he eats? Yes, but I also know he has to eat, is as skinny as a rail, and healthy.

So I've showered, walked more, gotten out of the house, done more housework, and today? I'm tackling the grocery store to make my family some homemade spaghetti and meatballs. And that is okay. The food head hunger is slowly decreasing and my energy is up. I've found a way to drink my nasty protein (more in a later post) and I am sticking to my guidelines perfectly.

And on the scale today? I've lost 17 pounds in 10 days. I am a little scared that I am loosing too fast... but I have heard that it will slow down and stall out here in a bit.

So, there's the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly... Hopefully my days upcoming are much more good than ugly :)

Twas the Night Before Surgery...

and all through this house is hunger. I am so hungry right now. I've been on only clear liquids for a day... liquids for 2 days... and I am starving. I could kill someone for food right now. But I found some really yummy sugar free Popsicles that have pacified my homicidal ideations right now.

So here is how the befores and updates will go:

Every month I will take pictures wearing a black shirt and jeans to update my progress. I thought it would be an easy outfit to continue having the same of during my weight loss and would be easy for comparisons. So, without further ado:

There's really not much more to say other than I'm glad this is the old me. The me I won't return to. The me I'm saying goodbye to tomorrow at 1:00pm!! Happy St. Patricks Day!!

Getting things together...

A quick update to share some things I've bought to begin my post-op journey... which starts in 5 days!!

1) A weight loss cookbook:

I know I won't be needing this for a couple weeks post-op but it's fun looking through it and getting ideas of what I can make and eat soon. I thought that maybe since my taste buds change so much after surgery that I could try and do a "Julie and Julia" thing and work through the whole book. That seems really ambitious so we will see...

2) Daily Vitamins:

I decided to go with the Calcium Crystals so I can avoid taking any pills or eating really expensive calcium bites 6-7 times a day. I think I have to have 3 scoops of the crystals (which can mix with my protien) a day and they say to break it up throughout the day. Then after some advice on a WLS forum I switched from my nutritionist-wrongly-recommended Flintstone Vitamins and went with a chewable Centrum Silver. I still won't have to take extra iron, unless my labs come back low, and it is way better for me. Thanks for all the advice my fellow OH'ers!

3) PROTEIN!!!!!!:

I definitely need to stock up some more on this... All I've bought are the little samples you see. The big Whey Protein in the back is so old from when my husband decided he was going to "buff up"... It's a vanilla flavor so I think it would be good with some smoothies. However, the nectar brand only has 26ish grams of protein per package... doesn't seem like a great of a deal but I will try it out anyways. I think I'm also going to invest in ISOPURE unflavored protein... it's 50 grams for 2 scoops and I could put it in about everything.

4) A New Scale:

No picture... still in the box... but I will be breaking it out soon- Stay tuned for another blog post on this!

Even though I feel like I'm ready for surgery there is still a lot of things I want to get before Thursday morning:

• More protein
• A food journal
• A shaker to mix my drinks in
• A reusable water bottle
• A new Pure water filter 
• Different 0 calorie, 0 sugar drinks to try after surgery

And there is so much more to do blog-wise before hand! Take measurements, show my before weight (SO not looking forward to that), take before pictures, etc. All of which I will share with you, fellow bloggers! Until next time...

Pre-Op Requirements? Complete!

It's been a very busy week for my pre-op requirements and I am proud to say that they are all over!! We are now smooth sailing until March 17th. I have never looked forward to St. Patrick's day as much as I have this year :)

On Thursday, I went to my nutrition class and pre-op class. It went by so fast for being an all day class. I learned a ton and feel much better about what is headed my way post-op. Everything from diet, to exercise, to mental breakdowns, to time in surgery was covered. I think my husband (my support) was even impressed with everything he learned. I also got to go "shopping" for my post-op supplies (more on this in another post).

On Friday, or as I called it "The Day of Pain", I completed all of my pre-op testing. It took them 4 times before finding a vein for my bloodwork... ouch! I'm now the owner of 4 beautiful bruises covering my arms. Then it was urine test, a test to see about ulcers, a chest x-ray, a abdominal ultra sound, a lung capacity test, an EKG, and the upper GI with Barium. I've still trying to recuperate from the Barium. Then I headed to my OBGYN, 1 1/2 hours away, to get my girl parts checked. I still have no idea why that test was needed but it's completed.

Now the waiting arrives. Waiting for surgery and waiting to make sure all the above mentioned tests are okay. I have I mentioned that I hate waiting?

Cutting Off Ties: Part 1

Today I say goodbye to a very old and loyal friend of mine as I prepare for surgery in less than 3 weeks...

R.I.P. Diet Pepsi and all other sodas

It's sad day... even typing this I begin to crave an icy cold Diet Pepsi but I know this is for the best. It's not a requirement for my pre-op but I know I can't indulge in soda after surgery so I decided to nip this habit now. 

Will I ever drink soda again? Yes, I'm sure I will. But will I ever go back to drinking 3-4 sodas in a day? I hope not. It's really not healthy for anyone... WLS'ers or not. Knowing that this surgery is a lifestyle change for me and my family I want consciously make healthy choices now. Even my husband (who is addicted to soda) has decided to forgo all soda with me. I'm glad I have his support :) 

So yesterday at the grocery store we stocked up on this:

bottled water and knock-off Crystal Light packets.

And to make me even happier I can continue to add my knock-off drink packets to my water post-surgery! This will make getting my water requirement in so much easier!

Getting Ready... and Nervous!

Time is running away from me this week! I started the week with nothing scheduled and I'm now proud to say that everything is scheduled:

March 1st- Support Group Meeting

March 3rd- all day appointment for my pre-op nutrition class

March 4th- morning pre-op testing at the hospital, afternoon at OBGYN for my lady exam

March 17th- Surgery!

It's a ton to do... and on top of it I have plenty going on at work. I did get all my FMLA paperwork done so I'm happy to say it is all taken care of. Now, just getting all the tests done and over with. I'm starting to get nervous... what is my pap smear is abnormal? What is my EKG is bad? What if the results from my lady exam don't even get back in time? All questions that I have no merit to worry about... but I will... until I am being wheeled back for surgery on the 17th. :) The curse of the Type A personality. 

My mom, who had her WLS surgery in May 2010, stocked me up with plenty of helpful tools for my first few weeks post-op. 

1 oz. medicine cups to measure foods and infant "sipper" lids for my water bottles! 

It blows my mind that I am going to be content with 2 oz. portions of food... 2 little medicine cups of liquids then pureed foods. Would it be insane to say I'm excited? :)

On my way...

So this is it. I've made a blog to document my journey through my process of weight loss surgery (WLS). I promise to keep it real- no beating around any bushes- and to answer any questions someone might have. I know that reading others blogs has definitely helped me in this pre-op phase and I hope I am able to help other pre-op'ers out there!

So what's my story? I never was really heavy growing up. I think I always thought I was but I didn't really start packing on the weight until a bad high school breakup and a high school job in fast food. Then I couldn't stop. I didn't eat because I was unhappy... I ate because I was happy, sad, stressed, frustrated, bored, lonely, celebrating, etc. Everything was cause to celebrate with food! 

And now I'm here. 24 years old and obese. I can't wait until I never have to see that word and think of it being me. I fear sitting in booths at restaurants, I would die before I wore a swimsuit in public, and being comfortable in jeans? Forget it. 

But this is all about to change! My WLS surgery has been scheduled for March 17th... less than a month away! I'm choosing to have the roux-en-y gastric bypass (RNY) and I am very excited about it! I hope this becomes the tool I need to become the person trapped inside this shell. As cliche as it is to say... my skinny person is dying to get out of this body!

Now begins all the pre-op things I have to do. Tuesday I have to get my girl parts checked, March 4th is my pre-op testing, and on Monday I need to schedule my nutrition class. Even being obese I'm a pretty healthy person... no medical problems at this time. So I'm praying that everything is still that way and all my tests comes back clear for surgery. I will, of course, be updating you all the way. 

Here begins my journey... and I'm so excited to share it with you. 

Love!