Plastic Surgery TIme?

If you are on the Facebook WLS page you know that I recently went to get my plastic consult this past week. If you are as far out as I am it is a very interesting process.

I went ahead and decided to do a consult who did an awesome job on a tummy tuck of someone I know. I couldn't have asked for a better consult. The doctor (Dr. Christopher Jones for my Indy friends) spent over an hour with me and my husband explaining the ups and downs to the procedures I was interested in. Overall, he made me feel not only excited but ready to take on this next adventure. 

I decided on a brachiolasty (arm lift) and a tummy tuck. I spent a lot of time talking to my doctor about a tummy tuck vs. a panniculectomy. I do not have much tummy skin to get rid of. I've been blessed in that area so I originally thought that the panniculectomy would be my best option. However, Dr. Jones really walked me through about what I wanted and it turns out the tummy tuck will be the best option for me. 

Then came the price. $12,000 for both surgeries. I knew it was going to be a lot. I don't know why I got my hopes up so high. My husband and I have been talking about going to Mexico this January and I started having dreams of what those photos might look like with no arm hang or belly hang. And I just got my hopes up. I don't have $12,000- I actually don't have anything close to that price. 

How do you deal with disappointment? I will tell you- my first instinct was to come home and eat. Eating is how I made myself forget about the disappointment before surgery. I would be able to eat so much, talk a nap, and then a week later when I didn't fit into clothes it made me forget about the original disappointment. But, that's not me anymore and I'm having a really hard time facing this disappointment. 

Where do we go from here? I'm looking into several financing options but let me tell you--- it's hard to give someone $12,000 for a medical loan. I'm running into walls right now hoping that some nice company will lend me the money. Until then? I've decided I'm going to work out this disappointment in the gym, in the kitchen when I am cooking foods that are good and healthy for my body, and keeping those Mexico pictures in the back of my mind when I think about going back to the way I use to handle disappointment. 

I will keep you all updated.... cross your fingers for me!

Long Long Ago....

Long, Long ago I had a blog... and I was a faithful blogger. And then I came back to the world of blogging and kept promising to blog more. Life has just been way to busy folks- but now I'm back.

At this point in my WLS journey I am 19 months out and I feel like I'm still learning how my new body reacts. Don't get me wrong... It's much better than it was even a year ago. I have learned that my body is definitely going through phases still. There will be weeks that I can't stop eating. Luckily I am eating what I should be eating but I know my quantity intake is way too high. Other weeks I don't get anything in but maybe a protein shake in the morning because my pouch feels "too small" to fit anything else in it. Weird, I know.

Then there is the whole weight loss issue. I can least show you a pretty exciting update on the weight loss since the last time I posted but let's be real... it's coming off WAY slow now.  There are weeks at a time where I can't move the scale more than 2 pounds without another couple of week stall. Then just like everything that this WLS features another week I will lose 5 pounds with nothing else changing. It's a roller coaster that don't get me wrong... I'm glad to be on!

So here it is.... the update (no body pictures this time folks- I don't have any photo help right now....) and PLEASE ignore the need for my much needed pedicure!

So that is a total of 143 pounds lost since the morning of my surgery! 

(And let's be honest... there was the purge the few days before surgery 

so I'm definitely counting this as 150+ pounds lost!!)

So what am I doing? Eating good- letting myself have things off the no-no naughty list 1x a month (like 1 piece of low fat pizza), staying away from sugars (because I still dump like crazy), eating protein before anything else, and loving veggies. I work out 3-4 times a week but have recently tried upping it to 5 days a week. 3 cardio days where I run and 2 other days where I do some "Weight Loss Yoga" (It's a Biggest Loser DVD. It's awesome) I am actually trying to find a rec center that offers Yoga classes so I can move past the DVD I've had for almost 2 years :)

My biggest issue right now? Fitting in. Not with friends or family (again, who most don't know) but with   clothing stores. I've graduated from Lane Bryant and company store like this... I went to old Navy and the jeans just aren't working for me. My co-workers will call me "poopy drawers" because of how bad the jeans sag in my butt area. No more junk-in-the-trunk for me. Has anyone out there found luck in pants? I know I just need to do some trial and error. Go to stores, try on, and move on if it doesn't work. I feel like I'm just such a bad judge of what looks good anymore! Suggestions WLSers?

Much love and more posts... I promise :)

Jessica

First 5k ever :)

I'm so excited to share this with y'all!

I officially completed my first 5k! It's hard to think the word "completed" gives my victory any justice... I officially kicked my first 5k's butt!! :)

It was called the "Dirty Girl 5K" here in Indy which benefitted breast cancer. Not only was it 5k of running cross-country style... it included about 10 obstacle courses you had to manage as well. It went from climbing wall to many mud pits to a cargo net and more. I was up almost all night the evening before with worries about letting my teammates down (who were all much more in shape and skinnier than me) and having to go around and not complete much of the race. "Let's face it", I kept telling myself, "there is no way you are getting over the cargo net."

The morning of the race I couldn't stop using the bathroom as my nerves got the best of me. I kept thinking of ways I could not go. I have spent so many of my last pre-op years being an embarrassment to myself and that old feeling was sinking in again... I am going to humiliate myself. When the M/C announced that our heat was up and started counting down I really thought I could vomit.

And then we were off. It was the hardest thing I have yet to do in my whole life. And you know what? I finished with my team... I completed EVERY obstacle course they had... I ran about 3/4 of the whole race. I have never had such a sense of achievement or accomplishment. Even to this very moment I can't believe what I was able to do. And boy were we dirty!!

We have vowed to one another that this was not our first and last race together... we will conquer another soon! I'm so proud to be apart of a team with amazing ladies who never leave a team member behind!

A little pick me up..

If you are like me... the scale is a stressful event. I weigh myself daily (even though I know I shouldn't) and half the time it's depressing... not 331 pounds depressing... but when I hit a stall, I hit a freaking stall. The day I get below 200 will be the best day in my post-op life!

So I have to constantly remind myself how great the little victories are. And I had a BIG  one yesterday I wanted to share with y'all!

Yesterday was the mother daughter dance for my little one's girl scout troop. The theme of the night? "Divas and Diamonds" which if you know my little one is fitting :) So we both got all dolled up with our hair and makeup and put on our dresses for the night. By the time we were both set to go, we were 15 minutes away from being late to our dinner reservations for her troop. So knowing we were 10 minutes away we jumped in the car, I had an itch on my thigh, and... RIIIIPPPPP! There goes the biggest run in my tights.

Now the panic sets in. Pre-Op, there is no way I could have fixed this situation. It would have taken more than a 1 stop store to find pantyhose or leggings that would have fit me. It more than likely would have been a trip to the nearest Lane Bryant 30 minutes away at the local mall. I didn't have time for that.

DREADING EVERY MINUTE we drove to Meijer (like a Wal-Mart) to scour the aisles. At this point I've given up on making the reservations. We walk past the non-plus size section and I see some leggings that are ridiculously on sale. Only Large and Small available... I'm bummed. That would have made for a quick entrance and exit and possibly making everything work but there is no way I'm a normal large in the regular section... but I took the leap of faith. And you know what? THE DARN THINGS FIT! I could have cried. There is no way pre-op that this event could have happened and could have possibly ruined the night for me. I love my RNY!... and my special date :)

Has it really been a year?!

The night of March 16th this year was more emotional for me than I thought it would be. I found myself remembering the nerves, the anxiety, and the excitement that built up for my life changing moment the following morning. I remember crying when I laid on the surgery table and they were getting ready to put me under.... Truth be told- I actually told them to "call it off" and I wasn't going through with it. Luckily for me, they knew it was my nerves talking and I was quickly asleep.

The road hasn't been easy. I would be lying if I told you that there weren't times I didn't regret my decision. I have been sick... my silly gall bladder in August, being scoped and ulcers only 6 weeks out. There are also times of complete brain games... having a huge stall, not loosing weight as fast as you would like to, the skin, the total change of self-image issues in your head...

but it is all worth it.

I wouldn't trade it. I love who I am becoming. I love the gift of health and future I gave myself. I love that I can go into a normal store and buy a normal size of jeans. I love that I don't have to worry about fitting into a seat, a booth, a ride at an amusement park. I love that I can run, I can play with my family at the park. I love that when my husband and I decide to have children that my chances of conceiving and having a health and happy pregnancy is so much better. I love that I am living my life.

So, in 1 year....

That's a total of 114.8 pounds since the morning of surgery 1 year ago :)

And now... the comparisons! 

It's not where I want to be yet... but I'm getting there. I've hit a few patches of slow weight loss but I know what I need to do... just continue on! Much love folks!

Just keep running, running, running....

My own little Dori tune! (That's from Finding Nemo for my childless friends)

I have become obsessed with running. I'm not very good at it yet and I can by no means go to any great speed or lengths... but I love it. I love the way I feel on the treadmill, I love the way I feel when I come home. I love it. I hope I'm not just in the honeymoon stage... It's only been a little while of starting to run and lift weights.

It's definitely easier running/working out/lifting weights now than it was +100 pounds ago. I can't believe how my workouts have changed from "oh my god, I am going to die!" to "Wow, that was a really good workout!" :) Happiness!

Keep your fingers crossed that this period, honeymoon, or whatever lasts me some time!!

9 Month Update! :) :) :) :)

Alright, this feels good getting back into the blogging world!

This last month has gone much smoother than the last couple... I'm finally starting to feel better (physically) and not vomiting/diarrhea-ing everything I eat. I really start to buckle down and make sure I was getting in all my vitamins.. no matter what. And that has helped a tremendous amount!

I've also had some pretty awesome NSVs this month... putting on my first size 18 and actually FITTING in them, actually being apart of family photos instead of just the person taking them, shopping at more and more "normal" stores, and the list goes on.

So here we go...

That's a total of 97 pounds in 9 months, folks!

AND... if you want a little secret into my 10 month post... I've hit over 100 now as of this morning (about a week after the above photo) and it feels oh so wonderful/good/great/and any other word that would fit here :) And then the before and durings... I don't think I have to even ask if you can see a difference or not :) 

Yeah... pretty amazing. I don't even recognize the person to the left.

2012 is right around the corner and I can't wait to see what is around the corner... Much Love, Friends!