First 5k ever :)

I'm so excited to share this with y'all!

I officially completed my first 5k! It's hard to think the word "completed" gives my victory any justice... I officially kicked my first 5k's butt!! :)

It was called the "Dirty Girl 5K" here in Indy which benefitted breast cancer. Not only was it 5k of running cross-country style... it included about 10 obstacle courses you had to manage as well. It went from climbing wall to many mud pits to a cargo net and more. I was up almost all night the evening before with worries about letting my teammates down (who were all much more in shape and skinnier than me) and having to go around and not complete much of the race. "Let's face it", I kept telling myself, "there is no way you are getting over the cargo net."

The morning of the race I couldn't stop using the bathroom as my nerves got the best of me. I kept thinking of ways I could not go. I have spent so many of my last pre-op years being an embarrassment to myself and that old feeling was sinking in again... I am going to humiliate myself. When the M/C announced that our heat was up and started counting down I really thought I could vomit.

And then we were off. It was the hardest thing I have yet to do in my whole life. And you know what? I finished with my team... I completed EVERY obstacle course they had... I ran about 3/4 of the whole race. I have never had such a sense of achievement or accomplishment. Even to this very moment I can't believe what I was able to do. And boy were we dirty!!

We have vowed to one another that this was not our first and last race together... we will conquer another soon! I'm so proud to be apart of a team with amazing ladies who never leave a team member behind!

A little pick me up..

If you are like me... the scale is a stressful event. I weigh myself daily (even though I know I shouldn't) and half the time it's depressing... not 331 pounds depressing... but when I hit a stall, I hit a freaking stall. The day I get below 200 will be the best day in my post-op life!

So I have to constantly remind myself how great the little victories are. And I had a BIG  one yesterday I wanted to share with y'all!

Yesterday was the mother daughter dance for my little one's girl scout troop. The theme of the night? "Divas and Diamonds" which if you know my little one is fitting :) So we both got all dolled up with our hair and makeup and put on our dresses for the night. By the time we were both set to go, we were 15 minutes away from being late to our dinner reservations for her troop. So knowing we were 10 minutes away we jumped in the car, I had an itch on my thigh, and... RIIIIPPPPP! There goes the biggest run in my tights.

Now the panic sets in. Pre-Op, there is no way I could have fixed this situation. It would have taken more than a 1 stop store to find pantyhose or leggings that would have fit me. It more than likely would have been a trip to the nearest Lane Bryant 30 minutes away at the local mall. I didn't have time for that.

DREADING EVERY MINUTE we drove to Meijer (like a Wal-Mart) to scour the aisles. At this point I've given up on making the reservations. We walk past the non-plus size section and I see some leggings that are ridiculously on sale. Only Large and Small available... I'm bummed. That would have made for a quick entrance and exit and possibly making everything work but there is no way I'm a normal large in the regular section... but I took the leap of faith. And you know what? THE DARN THINGS FIT! I could have cried. There is no way pre-op that this event could have happened and could have possibly ruined the night for me. I love my RNY!... and my special date :)

Has it really been a year?!

The night of March 16th this year was more emotional for me than I thought it would be. I found myself remembering the nerves, the anxiety, and the excitement that built up for my life changing moment the following morning. I remember crying when I laid on the surgery table and they were getting ready to put me under.... Truth be told- I actually told them to "call it off" and I wasn't going through with it. Luckily for me, they knew it was my nerves talking and I was quickly asleep.

The road hasn't been easy. I would be lying if I told you that there weren't times I didn't regret my decision. I have been sick... my silly gall bladder in August, being scoped and ulcers only 6 weeks out. There are also times of complete brain games... having a huge stall, not loosing weight as fast as you would like to, the skin, the total change of self-image issues in your head...

but it is all worth it.

I wouldn't trade it. I love who I am becoming. I love the gift of health and future I gave myself. I love that I can go into a normal store and buy a normal size of jeans. I love that I don't have to worry about fitting into a seat, a booth, a ride at an amusement park. I love that I can run, I can play with my family at the park. I love that when my husband and I decide to have children that my chances of conceiving and having a health and happy pregnancy is so much better. I love that I am living my life.

So, in 1 year....

That's a total of 114.8 pounds since the morning of surgery 1 year ago :)

And now... the comparisons! 

It's not where I want to be yet... but I'm getting there. I've hit a few patches of slow weight loss but I know what I need to do... just continue on! Much love folks!

Just keep running, running, running....

My own little Dori tune! (That's from Finding Nemo for my childless friends)

I have become obsessed with running. I'm not very good at it yet and I can by no means go to any great speed or lengths... but I love it. I love the way I feel on the treadmill, I love the way I feel when I come home. I love it. I hope I'm not just in the honeymoon stage... It's only been a little while of starting to run and lift weights.

It's definitely easier running/working out/lifting weights now than it was +100 pounds ago. I can't believe how my workouts have changed from "oh my god, I am going to die!" to "Wow, that was a really good workout!" :) Happiness!

Keep your fingers crossed that this period, honeymoon, or whatever lasts me some time!!

9 Month Update! :) :) :) :)

Alright, this feels good getting back into the blogging world!

This last month has gone much smoother than the last couple... I'm finally starting to feel better (physically) and not vomiting/diarrhea-ing everything I eat. I really start to buckle down and make sure I was getting in all my vitamins.. no matter what. And that has helped a tremendous amount!

I've also had some pretty awesome NSVs this month... putting on my first size 18 and actually FITTING in them, actually being apart of family photos instead of just the person taking them, shopping at more and more "normal" stores, and the list goes on.

So here we go...

That's a total of 97 pounds in 9 months, folks!

AND... if you want a little secret into my 10 month post... I've hit over 100 now as of this morning (about a week after the above photo) and it feels oh so wonderful/good/great/and any other word that would fit here :) And then the before and durings... I don't think I have to even ask if you can see a difference or not :) 

Yeah... pretty amazing. I don't even recognize the person to the left.

2012 is right around the corner and I can't wait to see what is around the corner... Much Love, Friends!

Neglectful...

Wow, I can't believe I've been so neglectful to this blog. I promised myself I would never be that person... the one who is so "in touch" with the support group prior to surgery and then slowly phase out my involvement. And yet it has happened. I completely left out month 8 updates... barely did month 7... and now I'm almost to my 9 month mark. I promise to give you something for that month. And I promise  to update more.

One big thing that has happened lately is that I finally made an appointment to do family photos. I won't even hang up my wedding photos because I was so embarrassed of how big I got. Let's just show a photo so we all know what I'm talking about...

I will redo my wedding photos one day. Another big promise I have made to myself when I started this journey.

Now? It's not perfect, I still have a lot more to loose... but I couldn't be happier with where I am in our "first" family photos that will grace our Christmas cards, my office desk, and the walls of our home :)

Back to Christmas activities on this cold December morning...

Month 7 update!

Don't be fooled... The exclamation mark would leave some of you to think that it's been a good month when in reality I'm just now hopefully ending the stall. So the scale didn't move this month and I'm still a couple of pounds shy of hitting the big 100 pounds lost.

So in honor of my 7 month coming short of my 100 pound goal I decided to come up with a list of 7 things that I'm thankful I can do now that I couldn't do 91-93ish (stupid stall) pounds ago.
1. Cross my legs and sit comfortably
2. Fit in a booth at a restaurant
3. Tie my shoes (and not have bows that are off to the side)
4. Be IN pictures and not just taking them
5. Not have to wear the same pair of jeans multiple times in a row before they get comfortable
6. Get dressed up for Halloween with my friends
7. Wear heels with little discomfort (still working on the walking in them part....)

Alright, here you go. Scale:

That's a 90.2 pound weight loss in 7 months!

Not where I wanted to be... but I'll kick this stall... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

So.... I still have not taken by before and during photos for this month... and then when I was about to tonight I realized that I will be taking my 8 month photos next week... so... I'm not going to. I know, I know... I promised monthly. I just have been so busy! But just think of how GREAT my 8 month photos will be... right? RIGHT?! :)