A little pick me up..

If you are like me... the scale is a stressful event. I weigh myself daily (even though I know I shouldn't) and half the time it's depressing... not 331 pounds depressing... but when I hit a stall, I hit a freaking stall. The day I get below 200 will be the best day in my post-op life!

So I have to constantly remind myself how great the little victories are. And I had a BIG  one yesterday I wanted to share with y'all!

Yesterday was the mother daughter dance for my little one's girl scout troop. The theme of the night? "Divas and Diamonds" which if you know my little one is fitting :) So we both got all dolled up with our hair and makeup and put on our dresses for the night. By the time we were both set to go, we were 15 minutes away from being late to our dinner reservations for her troop. So knowing we were 10 minutes away we jumped in the car, I had an itch on my thigh, and... RIIIIPPPPP! There goes the biggest run in my tights.

Now the panic sets in. Pre-Op, there is no way I could have fixed this situation. It would have taken more than a 1 stop store to find pantyhose or leggings that would have fit me. It more than likely would have been a trip to the nearest Lane Bryant 30 minutes away at the local mall. I didn't have time for that.

DREADING EVERY MINUTE we drove to Meijer (like a Wal-Mart) to scour the aisles. At this point I've given up on making the reservations. We walk past the non-plus size section and I see some leggings that are ridiculously on sale. Only Large and Small available... I'm bummed. That would have made for a quick entrance and exit and possibly making everything work but there is no way I'm a normal large in the regular section... but I took the leap of faith. And you know what? THE DARN THINGS FIT! I could have cried. There is no way pre-op that this event could have happened and could have possibly ruined the night for me. I love my RNY!... and my special date :)

Has it really been a year?!

The night of March 16th this year was more emotional for me than I thought it would be. I found myself remembering the nerves, the anxiety, and the excitement that built up for my life changing moment the following morning. I remember crying when I laid on the surgery table and they were getting ready to put me under.... Truth be told- I actually told them to "call it off" and I wasn't going through with it. Luckily for me, they knew it was my nerves talking and I was quickly asleep.

The road hasn't been easy. I would be lying if I told you that there weren't times I didn't regret my decision. I have been sick... my silly gall bladder in August, being scoped and ulcers only 6 weeks out. There are also times of complete brain games... having a huge stall, not loosing weight as fast as you would like to, the skin, the total change of self-image issues in your head...

but it is all worth it.

I wouldn't trade it. I love who I am becoming. I love the gift of health and future I gave myself. I love that I can go into a normal store and buy a normal size of jeans. I love that I don't have to worry about fitting into a seat, a booth, a ride at an amusement park. I love that I can run, I can play with my family at the park. I love that when my husband and I decide to have children that my chances of conceiving and having a health and happy pregnancy is so much better. I love that I am living my life.

So, in 1 year....

That's a total of 114.8 pounds since the morning of surgery 1 year ago :)

And now... the comparisons! 

It's not where I want to be yet... but I'm getting there. I've hit a few patches of slow weight loss but I know what I need to do... just continue on! Much love folks!