My Thoughts on Ulcers...

When you've had 15+ endoscopies in 2 years after RNY I would say that I can self-admit to having an ulcer problem. I go through check lists in my head time after time about why this is happening and I don't get answers. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I'm allergic to Iburofen... Those are the main targets of ulcers according to my doctor. I was guilty of a Diet Pepsi every once in awhile or even a margarita 1-2x a year. I admit that but I have nothing to explain why 2 PPIs (Dexilant for me) a day at the highest strength and Carafate 3x a day shouldn't take care of ulcers.

They've tested me for the diseases associated with ulcers. Nope. They've gone to great lengths to try to figure out why the ulcers kept recurring and they come up blank. Have you, friends, had this problem? Any luck finding out why?

I can say now, a week past my revision/ulcer removal surgery, I'm feeling much better. The daily pain is gone and now I just have surgery discomfort pain. Revision surgery was MUCH worse than the original surgery (still not as bad as my septic gall bladder disaster a few months after the RNY) but still much worse than RNY recovery itself. The problem is that I have felt so bad for so long that this surgery discomfort gives me a fake sense that I can do everything. Then I end up overdoing it and being in actual pain and it wipes me out. Also, I felt like I was much worse in the hospital with pain than the RNY. I actually had to stay in the hospital longer too.

So what does it look like from here on out for me? Luckily I narrowly avoided a gtube this surgery and although my doctor has threatened TPN before I think I will avoid that as well. Right now my plan is to stick with my diet restrictions (I'm on a full liquid/mush diet right now) and start reworking real food maybe in another week. I see my doctor on the 24th and I hope to see the dietician as well. That might help me gauge when I can reintroduce real food. I'm in no hurry though. I want to heal and be 100% healthy. I also promise myself not to drink soda. It's not worth it- even if it was only 1-2 drinks once in a while. It's like that ex-boyfriend that you still want to Facebook stalk/text... he's so not worth it if it is only going to hurt me in the long run :)

One thing this has done is jump kick my weight loss so I thought I would update you with a scale photo and one of me recovering with my "nurse" Gizmo. :)

That's a 152.4 pound difference since the morning of surgery 2 1/2 years ago :)

Again, I hope to have my normal update pictures at some point now that I have made the commitment to be back in the blogging world but jeans aren't coming near my belly yet. Soon friends, soon :)

So much has changed... and yet... it hasn't...

I've been a bad blogger friend. I'm completely left you all in the dark in my progress and journey for quite some time. I really hope I can jump back into this and make this blog something great for me as an outlet and for information sharing to all my WLS friends.

I guess we should talk plastics first- I love my new arms. There is a place that he has to restitch because the scar went crazy on us but it didn't stop my new arms from enjoying- tank tops, tube tops, short sleeves, you name it- this summer! Here's a photo with a tank top on with my husband from our annual vacation to Florida.

The only times my scars bother me is the place that needs fixing and when I know they are major-time showing... but then I just remind myself that I could be NOT wearing a cute top and be wearing some hot long sleeved top in the middle of summer and then I get over it. :) If I feel up to it (you will understand if you continue reading), I will post some new photos for anyone interested to see post-6 month brachioplasty scars.

So, now to the meat of the post- what has happened over the past 6 months. Weight- stayed the same. I balanced between 182-180 for the past 6 months. I know all the things I can do to recharge my weight loss but I've been really good about where I am. It would also help if I lost some extra skin in the belly area but you already know that won't be happening for some time.

One thing that did emerge in January was a constant belly pain. It was a sharp, sometimes excruciating, pain in my left abdominal section. We did an endoscopy with my RNY doctor in January which showed ulcers. Gave meds. Rescoped in February- gone. She sent me to a GI specialist to look at possibly colon issues (sometimes pain and bathroom issued correlated) because pain was still there even though ulcers were gone. Specialist #1 did an upper scope and colonoscopy in April- showed ulcers again in pouch area (where my pouch meets the roux limb) and nothing in the colon. Another scope by specialist #1 in May showed ulcers again. They raised my Dexilant to 2 times a day. Throughout the time of scopes I am having major pain. Daily pain which was controlled by pain pills and then pain where I am rushed to the ER to help monitor the pain by IV meds. Then brings us to August. The pain sends me to the ER, ER runs a CT scan, and they show fluid in my absent stomach. They have no idea why it's like that. I get sent to the RNY doctor the following day and I get sent by my RNY doc to another GI specialist (#2) to talk about a double balloon endoscopy to determine where this fluid is coming from. From what the GI specialist says- the double balloon surgery is risky- too risky- for where I am as a RNY patient. So... back to the drawing board with my RNY doctor who decides we need to do surgery.
So on Monday this week I had a revision to my RNY- they removed the bottom half of my pouch where the ulcers were and recreated it, took out part of the roux limb that had ulcers, and biopsied my stomach. Luckily whatever fluid was once there is gone now which saved me from having a gtube. The hospital stay took me back 2 1/2 years ago when I had my RNY except the pain was much worse than what I remembered. I stayed in the hospital for 2 nights and got to go home on the 3rd day which brings me to wanting to update. Basically I'm back to square one which a full liquid diet and protein shakes.
Isn't this where we all want to be though? Back at the glory days of losing weight and going back to full liquids? I can't count the times I read on boards (both OH and Facebook) where we are all asking about the 5 day pouch test, how to lose the last 20 pounds, etc. While this wasn't my ultimate goal I'm glad I'm hitting back to the basics because I believe the basics are going to give me my best chance at a pain free life. I didn't do anything to cause the ulcers or the pain, I know that, but I also probably wasn't helpful to healing them. So it's back to the grind of protein shakes and full liquids for at least a week. It's amazing how hard getting 2 oz. of oatmeal down right now can be.
I hope to update you all with some new before/during pictures. It's been a minute. I can't even believe I didn't blog a 2 year post!
I'm back RNY'ers, WLS'ers, and friends :)

HELLLLOOOO SKINNY ARMS!

Hello friends!

Well, I've gone and done it. I had my brachioplasty about 1 1/2 weeks ago. Day of surgery everything went well. I had no problems in surgery, woke up fine, and pain was pretty tolerable... at first. It never got "kill me" bad... but it got bad at times. One of the worst pains was when the swelling became extreme. I've definitely have been able to compile my "do and don't" list for my WLS friends out there that are thinking of this surgery...

DO

• Keep ice on hand. I used ice almost every night for a couple of hours to help the swelling go down.
• STAY ON TOP OF YOUR PAIN MEDS!! I took 1 Norco every 3 hours 24/7 for the first 3 days. There were times I had to bump up to two the first day or so but I truly believe my pain would have been so much worse if I didn't keep on schedule with the pain meds. HOWEVER, I am a sissy.... and do not tolerate pain well. It could just be me :)
• Wear your compression garments/ace bandages and often as you can tolerate them. I wore mine during the day and let my arms "air out" at night.
• Keep your arms elevated. I carried (and still do at times) a pillow around with me so I could keep my arms "higher than my heart" to help the swelling.
• Invest in a good sports bra or the "ahh bra". A normal bra won't work. It is painful. Believe me. I tried many times :( 

DON'T

• Try to go back to work as quick as I did. I had surgery on Monday and went back to work on Thursday. BAAAAAAD idea. That first day I was miserable. I would take about 5 days off for this procedure- not necessarily because of the pain but because of the swelling.
• Try to do everything you would normally do- we had a super busy weekend after surgery and I ended up making myself swell to a point where I thought I may have needed to go to the hospital because my arms were so swollen. I kept myself way to busy and didn't rest enough or elevate enough. 

That's all off the top of my head... now for the exciting part! Pictures! Keep in mind I am still very much swollen (these were taken after work the other day). Also, ignore the sports bra (see above) and the disheveled appearance. Using hair styling products and doing anything more than bushing my hair has seemed daunting these days :)

WOO HOO!

Yeah, I'm pretty excited. I can't wait to see what they continue to look like as they heal. I did go out and buy a blazer today for work/going out activities. It was super excited to fit into shirts without going up into larger sizes. :) I'm so very glad I went ahead with plastics!! It was worth all the pain and money! Here's my new blazer below... 

Well, I'm off to my post-op appointment with my doctor. Wish me luck!

Jessica

'Twas the night before PLASTIC surgery :) :) :)

I know, way to update you all on everything right?

After my last post I spent a lot of time talking to my husband, friends, family, doctors and decided I needed to hold off on the tummy tuck. It was time for me to think about what my #1 was which is definitely the arms. I do not have much of a tummy- it was really more of a cosmetic need than an actual need. My arms is an actual need. It affects me every day- buying bigger shirts to fit my arms, stretching out shirts I have to fit my arms, NEVER wearing short sleeves- much less tank tops, etc.

So... here it goes. Tomorrow is the day for my brachioplasty. I'm so nervous! I can't believe the day is here and I can't wait for 3-4 weeks from now when I can really look back and enjoy what I'm doing to myself tomorrow. I'm worried about the pain but I'm determined to stay "in front" of my pain with pain medications and relaxation. Have any of you friends had this surgery? Any tips?

And, because I promised myself this would be a full disclosure blog from the beginning... Here are the before pictures. Is it horrible that I am more embarrassed to show these than my first photos before surgery? (Ignore the hair and lack of makeup... it's been a long day!)

Wow... I can't wait to see the afters!

Good night friends! Send good thoughts my way for tomorrow!!

Plastic Surgery TIme?

If you are on the Facebook WLS page you know that I recently went to get my plastic consult this past week. If you are as far out as I am it is a very interesting process.

I went ahead and decided to do a consult who did an awesome job on a tummy tuck of someone I know. I couldn't have asked for a better consult. The doctor (Dr. Christopher Jones for my Indy friends) spent over an hour with me and my husband explaining the ups and downs to the procedures I was interested in. Overall, he made me feel not only excited but ready to take on this next adventure. 

I decided on a brachiolasty (arm lift) and a tummy tuck. I spent a lot of time talking to my doctor about a tummy tuck vs. a panniculectomy. I do not have much tummy skin to get rid of. I've been blessed in that area so I originally thought that the panniculectomy would be my best option. However, Dr. Jones really walked me through about what I wanted and it turns out the tummy tuck will be the best option for me. 

Then came the price. $12,000 for both surgeries. I knew it was going to be a lot. I don't know why I got my hopes up so high. My husband and I have been talking about going to Mexico this January and I started having dreams of what those photos might look like with no arm hang or belly hang. And I just got my hopes up. I don't have $12,000- I actually don't have anything close to that price. 

How do you deal with disappointment? I will tell you- my first instinct was to come home and eat. Eating is how I made myself forget about the disappointment before surgery. I would be able to eat so much, talk a nap, and then a week later when I didn't fit into clothes it made me forget about the original disappointment. But, that's not me anymore and I'm having a really hard time facing this disappointment. 

Where do we go from here? I'm looking into several financing options but let me tell you--- it's hard to give someone $12,000 for a medical loan. I'm running into walls right now hoping that some nice company will lend me the money. Until then? I've decided I'm going to work out this disappointment in the gym, in the kitchen when I am cooking foods that are good and healthy for my body, and keeping those Mexico pictures in the back of my mind when I think about going back to the way I use to handle disappointment. 

I will keep you all updated.... cross your fingers for me!

Long Long Ago....

Long, Long ago I had a blog... and I was a faithful blogger. And then I came back to the world of blogging and kept promising to blog more. Life has just been way to busy folks- but now I'm back.

At this point in my WLS journey I am 19 months out and I feel like I'm still learning how my new body reacts. Don't get me wrong... It's much better than it was even a year ago. I have learned that my body is definitely going through phases still. There will be weeks that I can't stop eating. Luckily I am eating what I should be eating but I know my quantity intake is way too high. Other weeks I don't get anything in but maybe a protein shake in the morning because my pouch feels "too small" to fit anything else in it. Weird, I know.

Then there is the whole weight loss issue. I can least show you a pretty exciting update on the weight loss since the last time I posted but let's be real... it's coming off WAY slow now.  There are weeks at a time where I can't move the scale more than 2 pounds without another couple of week stall. Then just like everything that this WLS features another week I will lose 5 pounds with nothing else changing. It's a roller coaster that don't get me wrong... I'm glad to be on!

So here it is.... the update (no body pictures this time folks- I don't have any photo help right now....) and PLEASE ignore the need for my much needed pedicure!

So that is a total of 143 pounds lost since the morning of my surgery! 

(And let's be honest... there was the purge the few days before surgery 

so I'm definitely counting this as 150+ pounds lost!!)

So what am I doing? Eating good- letting myself have things off the no-no naughty list 1x a month (like 1 piece of low fat pizza), staying away from sugars (because I still dump like crazy), eating protein before anything else, and loving veggies. I work out 3-4 times a week but have recently tried upping it to 5 days a week. 3 cardio days where I run and 2 other days where I do some "Weight Loss Yoga" (It's a Biggest Loser DVD. It's awesome) I am actually trying to find a rec center that offers Yoga classes so I can move past the DVD I've had for almost 2 years :)

My biggest issue right now? Fitting in. Not with friends or family (again, who most don't know) but with   clothing stores. I've graduated from Lane Bryant and company store like this... I went to old Navy and the jeans just aren't working for me. My co-workers will call me "poopy drawers" because of how bad the jeans sag in my butt area. No more junk-in-the-trunk for me. Has anyone out there found luck in pants? I know I just need to do some trial and error. Go to stores, try on, and move on if it doesn't work. I feel like I'm just such a bad judge of what looks good anymore! Suggestions WLSers?

Much love and more posts... I promise :)

Jessica

First 5k ever :)

I'm so excited to share this with y'all!

I officially completed my first 5k! It's hard to think the word "completed" gives my victory any justice... I officially kicked my first 5k's butt!! :)

It was called the "Dirty Girl 5K" here in Indy which benefitted breast cancer. Not only was it 5k of running cross-country style... it included about 10 obstacle courses you had to manage as well. It went from climbing wall to many mud pits to a cargo net and more. I was up almost all night the evening before with worries about letting my teammates down (who were all much more in shape and skinnier than me) and having to go around and not complete much of the race. "Let's face it", I kept telling myself, "there is no way you are getting over the cargo net."

The morning of the race I couldn't stop using the bathroom as my nerves got the best of me. I kept thinking of ways I could not go. I have spent so many of my last pre-op years being an embarrassment to myself and that old feeling was sinking in again... I am going to humiliate myself. When the M/C announced that our heat was up and started counting down I really thought I could vomit.

And then we were off. It was the hardest thing I have yet to do in my whole life. And you know what? I finished with my team... I completed EVERY obstacle course they had... I ran about 3/4 of the whole race. I have never had such a sense of achievement or accomplishment. Even to this very moment I can't believe what I was able to do. And boy were we dirty!!

We have vowed to one another that this was not our first and last race together... we will conquer another soon! I'm so proud to be apart of a team with amazing ladies who never leave a team member behind!